Saturday, December 4, 2010
"I wish you enough!"©
I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I'm not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.
I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to "hello" and "goodbye."I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.
I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.
Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.
On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, "How are you today?" I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said goodbye."
She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!" We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye.
But I learn from goodbye moments, too.
Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy."
They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?"
"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.
So I knew what this man experiencing.
"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked.
"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said.
"When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more."When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
He then began to sob and walked away.
My friends, I wish you enough!
My friends, I wish you enough!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
"THE BEAUTY OF THE SCAR
(The story by Lih Yuh Kuo appears in "Chicken Soup For the Soul")
A little boy invited his mother to attend his elementary school's first teacher-parent conference. To the little boy's dismay, she said she would go. This would be the first time that his classmates and teacher met his mother and he was embarrassed by her appearance. Although she was a beautiful woman, there was a severe scar that covered nearly the entire right side of her face. The boy never wanted to talk about why or how she got the scar.
At the conference, the people were impressed by the kindness and natural beauty of his mother despite the scar, but the little boy was still embarrassed and hid himself from everyone. He did, however, get within earshot of a conversation between his mother and his teacher, and heard them speaking.
"How did you get the scar on your face?" the teacher asked.
The mother replied, "When my son was a baby, he was in a room that caught on fire. Everyone was too afraid to go in because the fire was out of control, so I went in. As I was running toward his crib, I saw a beam coming down and I placed myself over him trying to shield him. I was knocked unconscious but fortunately, a fireman came in and saved both of us." She touched the burned side of her face. "This scar will be permanent, but to this day, I have never regretted doing what I did."
At this point, the little boy came out running towards his mother with tears in his eyes. He hugged her and felt an overwhelming sense of the sacrifice that his mother had made for him. He held her hand tightly for the rest of the day.
In a similar manner, Jesus Christ bears a scar -- many scars, in fact. There are those who find that somewhat embarrassing ("You mean to tell me you worship a man who was crucified?").
However, realizing that his ugly scars are the result of his efforts to save me, they suddenly take on a special beauty.
Those scars led Thomas to say, "My Lord and my God!" (John 20:28). They lead me to say the same thing. I'm so thankful that something so ugly and horrible has taken on such beauty, because of the great love that Jesus Christ had for me.
"He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon him, and by his stripes we are healed." (Isa. 53:5).
Have a great day!"
Then I watched two other video's from that last link I posted. These three things set me up for what I am now writing.
Life as I know it, will change irrevocably. I don't know the details of this change, all I know is, that life will change.
I am no longer afraid.
You see, the world's economic systems & institutions are not for the people. They are fraudulent and corrupt and I fear the people who run them are greedy for more, all the time.
Planet EARTH is dying.
Because I along with most folk pollute it. Not just with gases, plastics and Nuclear waste. But with deceit, dishonesty, greed, I suppose the 7 deadly sins really.
But also and mostly, with my lack of love, respect, compassion and kindness to my fellow human beings and to self. I find it hard to admit that I have, at times in my life, lacked love, compassion, respect and kindness for those folk I have met in my life, even if it was in action or thought. I know I am not alone in this, most of us here on earth have offended other's and ourselves, by our lack of love, compassion, kindness and respect towards an other human being, animal, plant or our environment.
This is the reason why, I collude and stay silent. Inside I am as guilty as another and as ashamed, that I have committed these crimes against humanity, even if it's in small ways of behaving dishonourably against all who live on planet earth. This is why, we silence the whistle blowers, because we can not face our own wrong doings. Also, each of us have deep vivid memories from childhood that dictate these childhood responses into adulthood, for fear that we will be in even more trouble, if we stand out side the herd. When that herd or crowd want us so desperately to collude with the game being played, the pressure on a body is immense and we fear being left out and isolated by our peers and society.
These behaviours lack self responsibility, accountability, maturity, but mostly they lack self LOVE. This is the stuff we are not taught at home or in school as children. However, when we meet someone who is in a solid loving place with themselves, God and their world, look at how safe it is for us to respond with them! (That's a clue! ) We feel safe to be who we are. We feel good insides ourselves, there is a buzz in that interaction, that no drug would or could give you, that is as real as that experience.
I don't know if you know about the messages of Garabandal ? Have a look at the link if you want. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTAr8iZYHvg
Or of the messages of Medjugorje http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BflI1Qu9Wok&feature=related Seemingly, at some future point Mirjana, with other's, will go on the seven day fast. 2012?!?
Combine the messages above, with the 2012 predicted happenings and with the current economic demise, for Greece and Ireland are only the start of the domino affect. It may be wise too, to look at the worlds fairly recent natural disasters. And look at the astrological happenings where Earth aligns with the Milky Way in 2012. This information is there on the net. I don't for one moment need to scare any one. Trust me on this. I grew up in terror and it is a state I no longer want or need to feel.
My point in writing this blog, is that I have lacked LOVE in my life and in my way of being towards self, others and to my environment, (not always, as I believe I am a loving human being) and I believe we all are loving, but it is a (commodity), quality, the world is lacking. HOWEVER, You and I can change, to be even more loving towards self, an other and to the world we live in. God did say, "Faith, Hope and Love, and LOVE, is the greatest of all these gifts"!
I wish you and me, all the LOVE that exists in our universe for it is there for each of us in ABUNDANCE. ONLY SOMETIMES, WE FORGET.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Now when you say the "Markets are not wise".............well, the markets are made up of human beings and all of us express ourselves through our behaviour. (There are seven other ways we express our individuality, but for now, I am focussing my attention on behaviour). You see, I have learned that ALL behaviour is wise. I believe that what is now happening in our world, basically the huge debt, is that we are all being challenged, to look deep within ourselves and have our come to Jesus moment and examine what it is our behaviour is saying to us. The answer for every individual will be different.
We as human beings have forgotten our deepest desire, to be loved unconditionally.
So how do we as human beings replace the lack of unconditional love for self? We may become addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, not eating, over eating, or we may become violent, depressed, sad, lonely, suicidal, manic or we become greedy for status, power and wealth. In the hope that some of these substitutes, fill that deep void within us. However, within the depth of each of us, is a place of knowing, we know within our core, that these substitutes will not ever replace the solidity that comes from unconditionally loving of self. When we are in that unconditional loving solid place, how do you think we'd behave towards self and an other?
Human beings would have no fear of being real and authentic. Human beings in this state could not hurt an other, because they would not hurt self. Human beings would forgive debt. They'd know that status, power and money is, in the main, irrelevant. They'd also realise that they can not eat money! They'd know that money won't comfort them, like a kiss and a hug from their child/mother/husband/lover or friend.
You and I are being challenged now, in our current world climate, to be real and authentic with self and with each other. We are being challenged hugely by our debt crisis to wake up to the only real truth in the universe, that of unconditional love for self.
It is not about finding a way out, it is about, finding a way in!
I finished my response here to David. However, my need is to clarify what I mean when I say, "Finding a way in".................Basically, finding a way into your authentic self. Being who God made you to be. Being the unique individual you were created to be. Show the world your light, talents and gifts. The only way to that place is to go within.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
My overall response to Kilkeconomics ...............
I went to Kilkenny last Thursday and I left there yesterday. I had tickets for ten gigs. Although, I only went to nine gigs! I had four tickets for Saturday, but as I was on over-load after the third gig, I gave my ticket away to someone who wanted to go, as most of the gigs were sold out. This morning, my head is still full of what I learned and the wonderful people I had the privilege to meet.
May I state first, that I have huge regard and respect for David McWilliams. The first time I ever heard him, was a number of years ago when I saw him interview Dr. Tony Humphreys on the afternoon show. What impressed me then about David, is his humanity, he is a real and authentic human being. A body, no matter how well briefed on a subject, cannot portray these mature qualities, unless they are real and authentic. Having met him in person over the weekend, I still hold the same opinion, David McWilliams is very human and solid within himself. He is congruent. And certainly when I meet people who are, I recognise it deep within my being.
Here is what I heard and learned over the course of Kilkeconomics.
How and why the property boom happened and how the bubble burst. Bubbles burst when they have no solid foundation. The banks lent recklessly, encouraged the ordinary person and property developers to borrow huge sums of money, often without, real collateral and proper back round financial checking to see if these people had the ability to repay the loans. Then they colluded with local and national Government to rezone land. Auctioneers joined in the game and inflated land prices, which increased house and shopping centre prices and the Government played the game too, as they were increasing revenue.
Anglo were the first bank who played this game and in time, the other Irish banks joined in, for fear they were losing out, as it was quite a profitable business game. The figures being bandied about were frightening, in truth though, no one has audited anything, so no one truly knows the exact figure of the financial debt in Ireland. This is quite scary!
Bill Black, an American regulator explained that the banks had these fancy mathematicians doing all sorts of equations that put a value on the banks assets. The higher the value that was put on these assets, the physicist’s bonus directly reflected the value they placed on the asset!! This is where the banks then got their triple A ratings. In reality, this was a dream bubble!!!!! There was NO solid financial foundation in this type of accounting. Bill has put a 1,000 of these people in prison for fraud in the USA. In Ireland, no one has yet been made accountable for their action in our financial demise.
I experienced Saturday’s gig on NAMA and Anglo as THE most depressing! NAMA, is a bottomless hole, that the Irish Government keep trying to fill, only they don’t realise or maybe don’t want to know, that it cannot be filled. However, with the stroke of a pen, the Irish Government could give responsibility of NAMA to the banks. Needless to say, I am in favour of that!
The Irish regulator of the day, was paid a handsome handshake and pension. The Central Bank only did what they were told, by the Government. I remember wondering at the time why the Central Bank of Ireland would come out with very soft warning’s to the banks about their lending behaviour. Now I know why!
There was agreement that our financial institutions and markets are bullying our Government and that our Government need to stand up to them. However, if our Government did, the Financial markets etc, would take a hit on their gamble, which is what those markets are about anyway! So they further pressurise the Government with worst case scenarios as naturally, they neither want to lose on their investments or take responsibility for their actions, as then they’d be accountable and would need to look at their own behaviour! Which would of course be, the mature thing to do. These people have a huge opportunity here to look at themselves and what it is their behaviour is teaching them. Also, it is believed that our Government do not want to lose face, either with the financial sector or the EU!! (See my posh room blog for more details on this).
I am angry with the mire my country is in and I know anger is all about taking action for self. So, this is my action, writing. On the one hand, I want a peaceful coup and evict our entire local and national Government and their cronies, who the Government have installed on the boards of NAMA and in the Irish financial institutions. What is so telling in this country is that the Government’s cronies, are the very same people who brought about this crisis! If you do something bad in Ireland, you are rewarded by getting fancy jobs and huge salaries and bonuses and if on the other hand, you blow the whistle, you are ostracized and may not ever work here again. This kind of behaviour breaks my heart.
I haven’t ever read any of Fintan O’Toole’s article’s or books. However, the man impressed me, he spoke a lot of sense and his knowledge is vast, to me. Olivia O’Leary interviewed him, in the “Hole in the wall” venue in Kilkenny on Sunday morning. I have always admired Olivia. To cut this short, Fintan is or has set up a web page called “Enough is Enough”, (the title of his new book). You can Google it and there he has or will have a check-list of questions, all real, mature and sensible for each of us to ask our Government representatives when they come calling to our doors. Or you can email those questions to them. Fintan believes we do have some good politicians who are as frustrated as I am with our Government, but their hands are currently tied. I am somewhat of a doubting Thomas in this area! However, please go and check this out for yourselves.
My overall impression of the speakers at Kilkeconomics is that they are all good, sound, mature and sensible folk. They made economics easy to understand. The comedians were great and I did laugh, this can be a feat for me at times!
My life has taught me that when a person does not take responsibility for their actions, it causes me pain and stress. This happens in immature relationships. Even if my own relationship with self is immature, I cause me pain. This pain increases if I am not in a mature place to be responsible and where I then go and blame another or myself. When I am in an immature and blaming place, I am not in an unconditional loving place with self. This is the wisdom of behaviour, as all behaviour is wise.
If I as a human being make a mis-take and I then try to cover it up, I am causing pain to self and to another or others. However, if I am in a solid mature place within myself, I would not be in a place to hurt self or others. Because, I would maturely admit my mis-take, thereby I take full responsibility for my own actions and hold myself accountable for same. Every human being on this planet makes mis-takes, it is to my mind, what being human is.
However, because of our own childhood wounds/history/ baggage, we often fear the repercussions of making a mis-take. So in an adult childlike fashion, we try to hid or gloss over our mistakes out of old feelings/memories of getting into trouble, where we as children, experienced annihilation for the small mis-takes we made in childhood. This fear keeps us, unconsciously, rooted to our old responsive patterns of behaviour. However, the paradox is, that as adults we need to learn that what worked for us as children, will not work for us as adults, so our behaviours now, brings our attention to learn as adults, to be mature. As not all of us adults are mature. The Irish Government are currently representing to me at least, the immaturity of us as a nation. As, we have allowed our Government to get away with their irresponsible and immature behaviour since the foundation of our State. Therefore, I need to take my own portion of responsibility, as I allowed this to happen by doing nothing. I kept my mouth shut and didn’t say, STOP!
All parents know, that if we don’t point out to a child that a particular behaviour is not appropriate, how will the child learn the appropriate behaviour? They won’t and they’ll keep doing that inappropriate behaviour. Well reflect that to our Government now.
In a time where any one of us makes a mis-take, (I am deliberately breaking up this word, as all mistakes, are a miss take, until we get it right!), it is vital and so important not to blame. Blame gets us nowhere fast. In fact, blame has the opposite effect, where people/children automatically go into defence, because the risk to their safety is too great, their defence acts as a protective shield against those who are pointing the blame finger at them. Which is what I see happening with our Government right now.
I feel my own anger, I see and hear the anger of the people I meet every day. Anger can be turned into creative constructive action for self. So I put it to each of us who reads this and ask yourself, can I be responsible for the state of Irelands financial crisis? I did play my part, I did nothing when I saw it happening, I didn’t gain anything financially either, however, I colluded, because I did not take action! Therefore I am responsible. I am also now accountable to take the austerity measures coming down the line. I am in fact taking them already, my disposable income is almost gone. My need though is that every Irish person takes the hit. I need those responsible in Government, the financial sector, property developers el al to take their share in the austerity burden. My need is not to blame, however, I do need those responsible for this mess to be brave and mature and to put their hands up and to be accountable for their actions.
When a person puts up their hands and says mea culpa, I am sorry, it is my moral duty to forgive them, then allow due process and let the legal folk strut their stuff in a JUST manner, so that we can move on towards building a mature Ireland. These are my hopes and wishes for you and me.
I need to thank Richard Cooke, Sian, David and all those people who organised and took part in Kilkeconomics. And my special thanks to the wonderful warm and friendly staff in Langton’s who treated me like family while I was there.
BTW, there are other things happening around Ireland right now. I met a group from Dublin who have started “Direct Democracy Ireland” Their motto is, “Help us create a new platform that will enter Government and shift the power back to the people”. If you are interested in this, link onto directdemocracyireland.com or phone Raymond Whitehead at 087 6575316.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
A quickie response from me, re Jargon busting & how an economy grows & crashes. Jargon busting was serious and fun. I found Brian Lucey, at times confusing, whereas, David Succinctly explained jargon in lay man terms. The biggest thing I learned was that NAMA (& I have major issues with NAMA as it is), is a bust hedge fund! Now I dislike NAMA even more and am glad my profile pic says BIN NAMA!
I found Peter Schiff to be an American capitalist who basically says that Governments need to stay out of the economy, coz they make it worse and to allow market forces do their thing to correct recession. He says the USA are in a depression, which I've thought for quite a while now.
Phillippe Lergrain speaks well and makes sense, however, he had very a different take than Peter. He went into conflict with Peter and that pissed me off, (I was cross!), because I couldn't hear a word then with himself and Peter in my left ear and this man in my right ear firing his own take at the two of them!! A word of wisdom to Phillippe, don't personalise it and know when you do, your response is all about you! Just like my response is about me!
The man who impressed me most is Martin Lousteau and shockingly,(to me), he said he will be 40 next birthday, the man only looks 28! What impressed me about Martin is he is so solid in himself & humble and by far the wisest and most experienced of the bunch.
They all agreed that we don't have to pay off all the debt, do a deal. But sure we all know that! Our Government seem to be the only folk who don't!
For now sin é, I need breakfast! :)
Friday, November 12, 2010
I’ve sat and thought about what I learned at last night’s gig “What just happened”, in Kilkeconomics .
Particularly, a theory David McWilliams put forward about our politicians. Let me relate it to you, in my words.
Those of us who are old enough will remember when our Granny’s had the “good sitting room”, or as David put it, the “posh room”. This room was only used when there was an “important” guest visiting, like the parish priest, doctor, teacher, local politician or indeed a returned family member from abroad. When they called to the house they were ushered into the good sitting room and the best china was taken out. Everyone sat around “pretending to be posh”, in essence, they played a game that upheld the illusion that they were posh and superior beings. No one dared say, the king has no clothes or what a load of crap! It would have been too dangerous to state the obvious. Dangerous, because they would have been, annihilated or cast out of the post circle of pretence.
David actually put this in simpler words last night, but I didn’t really get it then. I needed to sit with this and relate it to my way of being in the world.
So take this theory from the posh sitting room and now imagine our politicians going to the EEC many moons ago. They would have been in awe of the posh-ness of Brussels and meeting with the sophisticated French, who didn’t think “bog Paddy”, was posh at all! So to up-hold the illusion of posh-ness, they made an unspoken agreement, that they would both be posh. So no matter what happened, this illusion of posh-ness would always be upheld within the EU.
This morning, I was telling a friend of mine about this and explained I didn’t really get this. I need to remember it is only when I speak or write what I am thinking and feeling will my penny drop!
I then went on to talk with him about a union I was involved in where I sat on the Branch section and had voted for stuff, I knew very little about. I was new to the branch and I did a lot of listening, because I was new. However, because I felt insecure within myself, I did not question what I did not understand. The main individual, I knew, didn’t like me, which increased my own insecurity. Also, I was too lazy to go and do all the reading, I needed to have done, but didn’t. My friend said, it wasn’t laziness........so I mulled this over, he was right, I was, in fact, being irresponsible in not educating myself about the issues that I needed to clearly know, before I voted on them.
Then I remembered watching Dana being interviewed by Gay Byrne on “The meaning of life”. I wasn’t a fan of Dana while she was in the EU, I felt she was too conservative. However, listening to her, I ended up admiring her, because she learned the Irish Constitution and guarded it, in relation to Pro Life. She wasn’t a popular EU member..............................Why?
Then I got what David McWilliams was saying..........Dana didn’t play the posh game. Hence she was voted out after five years! What I admired in Dana, while watching this show was how solid she is in herself. She didn’t care about the game, she had a job to do and she learned all she needed to know to do the job, she was elected to do, by the Irish people.
Here are two things I have had difficulty with in relation to our politicians behaviour in our current economic climate. I know that no human being is stupid, (it’s a word I have not ever liked, because as a child in school, I was often referred to as stupid and that word terrified me and for a long time, I internalised it. As we do when we are children, we believe what the adults around us say about us! Until I learned a great secret, the fact is, everyone is a genius). Then I realised that our current politicians are not stupid, even if they are behaving stupidly, because, they are afraid of being seen as stupid. So they pretend to know what they are doing, without actually learning everything they need to know about the Department they run and thereby, by not knowing all the need to know, they negate their responsibility. (BTW, I may behave stupidly, but I am not my behaviour, as our politicians are not their behaviour either, however, they, as I am, are responsible for their/my behaviour).
The second thing I kept saying was.........There has to be a gain for our politicians in all of this economic mess, what is their gain, because there is always a gain and all behaviour is wise.
Their gain, is their pseudo sense of worth, posh-ness if you like, they have false status, position, authority, power and financial wealth.
Now to the wisdom of their behaviour and please believe me when I say, ALL BEHAVIOUR IS WISE.
I now believe that their behaviour is saying to them, to be solid in who they are, so that they stop being lead like unconscious sheep. Their behaviour (and indeed mine), is giving them an opportunity to wake up to consciousness and to be responsible to themselves and us, in the job they are paid to do and to be responsible for the mistakes they are making. To be responsible and stand up to the bullying bondholders and say to them............as Iceland did, get in the queue, we will pay you whenever or if ever we can. BUT our main priority will be to our own people, we need to look after them first. Then they need to bring those, who brought about the boom bubble to accountability, in loving compassionate kindness. If not, their defences will grow bigger, as our defences act to protect us. If they go into greater defence, then conflict emerges from the fear they’ll feel. That is why loving compassionate kindness is so vital in our growth as individuals, the society we live in and to the world as a whole.
So I now invite you to write to our politicians and state the King has no clothes and to say I see the posh game of illusion you are playing. My need is that you stop playing games and realise that I am a REAL HUMAN BEING.
I also think our politicians need to realise that with the power they have been given, brings with it, great responsibility.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
I am just back from the first ever Kilkeconomics gig! Richard Cooke, a Cork man, opened it up explaining how the idea came to him, basically he saw David at the Peacock theatre, liked what he did and decided to ask David would he combine comedy with economics. Richards runs the comedy fest in Kilkenny.
Then David came on and explained what would happen. To do this he introduced John Lanchester, Bill Black, Vihjaimur Bjarnason, Colin Murphy, Colin O’Regan & Neil Delamere.
The writer & economist explained what they did and Bill Black really explained how the corporate world made lemons into limes, by putting them in black boxes. The "black box" is a secret, so no one knows what it does!! The oranges represented regulated mortgage lending, the lemon, de-regulated property lending. Then physicists were paid huge bonuses that was linked to the value they put on the lime! My understanding of the lime is that it is fake and not real! You’d have to have been there because he did have oranges, lemon and a lime to explain how the banks in America committed fraud ;~) ;~)
Bill has helped to put behind bars, the financial people in America who committed financial fraud.
In between the comedians came on stage …………
and the jokes and craic were good. They had to be good, I laughed!!!
In the last section they above crew put on a drama that explained just how the property bubble was built and subsequently burst.
Bill Black says our Gov. are being bullied by the financial markets, but that our Gov. are fools, to allow them and us to be bullied.
All the men!! who took part in tonight's gig really did make sense of “What the hell just happened”, in really simple language.
They are all in the bar now………and I am sure the craic is continuing……….I am not there, as I don't like being in a bar on my own!
First Kilkeconomics blog completed!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I was disappointed with the turn out last Sunday, however, the people there were lovely and I remembered that good things often start small.
I would like to propose we start a NEW political party called, Shared Vision. The whole concept will be on the shared vision of the members, but especially the public’s vision, it will be based primarily on having a loving, compassionate and kind approach to running the country, with honesty and maturity as it’s ethos. I am writing this and in my head, I can hear the lads here groan…………….If you need to groan, do. I have no desire to judge me or anyone else here.
This approach on love, compassion and kindness is, I believe the mature way forward for all human beings on our planet, not just our country. WE could lead the way. This approach has not ever been adopted before world wide, so why not do it this way?!?
There really isn’t anything stopping me from doing it, or you for that matter. Other than apathy!
My background is in the HSE and social welfare and I have studied psychology and relationship mentoring for 5 years in total.
Unless, we as a society put people first, we are lost. Socialism and capitalism have shown that they do not work. The austerity measures that our Government have brought in and are bringing in, will only again shrink economic progress in our country.
I am not an economist, but as I am down all my disposable income, which I can no longer spend and that’s just me, one person! Most of the country are in the same boat as I am. What will further cuts do to us as a nation?!? I dread to think about it. But it won’t be a pretty sight.
It is never to late to make a difference and I feel strongly that I need to make a difference. Anyone on this site feel as I do? If so, add your name if you too are interested in starting a Shared Vision way of living. By the way, as this is Shared Vision, I can not put a manifesto forward, as it needs to be a Shared Vision manifesto! So can we all help to develope a shared vision for a mature way forward for Ireland and her individuals?
I offer this as an invitation to all Irish people.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I admit, I am quite angry with our politicians / banks & property developers, whom, I perceive as causing our country’s financial swamp! I am equally angry with NAMA! I am, like most Irish folk, struggling financially. In some ways, I feel I am lucky, because my mortgage is €400 a month, but there is still 27 years left for me to repay my mortgage debt and I am not in negative equity, thank God. Then again, I doubt I could sell my home either, even if I wanted to!
Many moons ago, I was a member of the Saint Vincent De Paul. This year, for the very first time in my life, I needed to go to them for financial help and thank God for them and to them, they helped me. I am deeply grateful to them for their financial assistance. When they agreed to help me, I cried. I was on my knees financially. It was a place I never thought I’d find myself in. I am grateful too, to have a job, as a public servant. I job share and I earn €392 a week. I have tried three times to get back to work full time. However, management prefer to give a grade 3 or 4 public servant an acting up allowance of about €30 a week as, it’s cheaper than bringing me back full time, they’d need to pay me another €25,000.00 if I was to work full time. I could go to the union about this, but frankly, I lost trust in them a few years back and I also don’t believe they work for me! I still pay my union fees, but only because I do not want to pass a picket! Isn’t that sad!
I feel and hear people’s unrest and anger at the same people and institutions as I am. When I hear folk call for a revolution and civil unrest, it scares me. History has taught me that violence does not work. Anyway, I do not believe it is the way forward for us as a country and world. I believe now is a time of great opportunity for each human being on our planet. This opportunity will bring a huge challenge to each of us to be loving, compassionate and kind towards the Government / Banks and Property Developers. I do believe that Government, banks, bond holders etc need to be responsible and accountable for and to their own actions for the financial crises we are in. Collectively we all need to be responsible and accountable in loving compassion and with kindness to all and for all humans. This is a quote from the Dalai Lama, which I copied from Twitter today.
DalaiLama Dalai Lama True compassion is impartial and bears with it a feeling of responsibility for the welfare and happiness of others.
We all have our own autobiography, some call it baggage, however, it is not a word I like to use. Our own stories carry hurts which follow us in life, on an unconscious level. Our behaviour though will bring our attention to what lies hidden within us, only when we feel safe, will the wisdom arise of why we behave as we do. This truth applies to those in Government, in the Banks and to you and me.
I have listened to people for two years now, complaining about who can we vote into Government as people are, in my experience, fed up to the gills of our policy makers here in Ireland. I am fed up too. I don’t believe a word our Government says, I don’t believe the banks and I do not believe NAMA. I want a total reform of what was, in Ireland. We are vibrant, creative, genius, spiritual human beings who are, I think a bit stuck right now. This can be changed. We could lead the world in a loving, compassionate kindness towards a new now and world. How?
By voting ourselves into Government. Why not? We have genius economists, accountants, legal folk, teachers, psychotherapists/psychologists, medics, spiritualists etc, who are working in grass root levels daily, to make a difference in your lives and mine. What I am saying is that every adult in this country becomes involved in the daily running of our country in a loving compassionate and kind way of living. That does not mean that those who are responsible for the financial morass we are in are not accountable. They are both responsible and accountable as you and I are, for all our actions.
This is the road less travelled in our world, however, it is achievable and it will take time. A lot of time. It can be done, the question is.......................Are you and I up for it?
Friday, August 27, 2010
Lady in Black
The world, she is sleeping.
Except the lady in black.
The lady is alone on her island, so alone.
She longs for company, companionship that will not come.
Because the world, she is sleeping.
The company she longs for is that of a man, she met but twice.
Their first meeting was brief, but that of their second meeting was precious.
This meeting passed quickly, her memory of it beautiful.
The lady is confused and the answer she searches for is not there.
She will not let it be known to herself.
Still, the world, she is sleeping.
This man, who is he? Where does he belong in her world?
She wants him near, to talk!
But all in vain, for he too is sleeping and is far away.
She remains alone, sitting on her island, in black, lost and unaware of the world that is
Sunday, May 9, 2010
1. Everything I say, do, feel and think is 100% about me.
2. What arises in me, IS about me.
3. My lover/partner, (If I had one), is the guardian of my solitude.
These are the three most important things I have learned. I didn't believe the first two for a long time, however, over time, I saw them unfold in my reality and life. Listening to them, being still and absorbing them and basically watching them unfold showed me that they are my life truths.
More importantly, I learned what my core pain is, it is that I have known that the love that is there for me is conditional. Not in any malice way, because I truly believe that those who love me, love me. However, I too loved me conditionally. Now I am enabling me to love me unconditionally. Because it is my deepest desire to be loved unconditionally. So I am starting with self. No better place to start! I've realised that unless I love myself unconditionally I am not going to meet a partner whom I can love unconditionally and who loves me unconditionally.
My pain around being conditionally loved presented itself with a sharp slap, but it woke me up! I had wondered why I met guys and had loving but quite difficult moments with them in relationship, why wasn't it a bit easier, I asked myself. My truth, I didn't feel good enough to be loved unconditionally. Wham! That truth stung me! I then understood why I needed those relationships, I needed to wake up and see my own self defeating belief, which was, I didn't feel good enough to be loved unconditionally.
Truly, the only body I ever truly believed loved me unconditionally was God. I then realised that I too have a moral and ethical responsibility to myself to love me unconditionally. In so doing, I may teach my children through my action for self, to love themselves unconditionally and at a bonus level, "other people" may see that in me and in turn they may have the courage to love who they are unconditionally.
If I have any regret in my life it is this..............My children know I love them unconditionally, however, they do not love themselves unconditionally,WHY? Because I didn't love me unconditionally! Actions always speak louder than words!
I don't believe I need to say more here, other than the great Buddha who said, "You can travel the world over and come right back and know, YOU are the person MOST DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE"!
This is now my truth.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
In the past year and a half I have dated two men, on and off. I fell madly in love with guy number 1, at the time; I was in a very stressed place. He was too, but he didn’t recognise it and at the time all I saw and felt was his indifference to me. I had previously been married to a man who was quite indifferent to me, and all I knew was, I couldn’t work with, cooperate with, nor collude with indifference. Our relationship ended fairly sharpish.
I then started a relationship with a guy number 2. He is fun and jokes a lot and he has shown me that I am quirky! This surprised me a lot!! However, I have learned to smile at me in my quirky moments. Man he is some kisser and I love his kisses. My facial muscles know he isn’t around any more! I’m smiling.
To cut this long story short, I have dated both these guys on and off for a year, guy number 2 for over a year and a half. He has been one of my greatest teachers, our life teachers tend to bring up, for me at least, painful history. I reacted to our conflict by allowing myself to react to conflict issues that are unresolved for me. I still don’t know if I have resolved them for myself. But this button brings up quite a lot of pain for me. In my growing up, both my parents were needy and I acted in the “adult and parent” mode with them. In my marriage, I did like wise. It was what I knew. I had dated and lived with a guy on and off for seven and a half years who was very similar to guy number 2. It took me over 5 or 6 years to understand my modus operandi within couple conflict. If a body demands more from me, than I am prepared to give and we go into conflict about it, I shut down and go away. I do literally get up and remove myself, if not in the moment, I do it the very next day. Now I come back a day or two later. However, the conflict always continued. (Here is my own insecurity; I do give a lot of who I am in relationships). I realise that this is my button and I own this. But it took me years to finally realise that my behaviour was and is wise and that it had a deeper gift to offer me, than I had previously realised. I had not knitted the pieces together until late last year. I didn’t understand that I was “comfortable” with this conflict, as it was the same conflict I had had in my childhood and with my family of origin. I also realised that I actually need space within all the relationships I have. Guy number 2 and the guy I had lived with for several years were not in a place to give me the space I so needed within our relationship. Both, I feel, have similar attachments styles. This caused me huge pain on many fronts. I suppose I learned that I needed to honour and hear my need within a relationship for space. I like separateness. I need it. Within this need I need the man I am in relationship to trust me that no matter where I go or what I do, I need them to trust me. Now this is where it gets very painful for me.
When I was 18 years old, my father told my sister that I was whoring around with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Apologies in advance to any one called any of those names. If only he had known, I was too scared shitless to be intimate with any man back then. I think this cut to my core and I allowed it to be a huge pain for me in my life.
Hence the reason I need a man in my life to let me go and to know intrinsically I am worthy of their trust. Within this, I also realised that I didn’t trust any man to love me for who I am. And within that, I realised that I needed to trust me and in some ways, I discovered I didn’t trust me to love me either! I became sad about this. Mainly because I do like who I am and I know I am different and loving and lovable, I always have been. I am uniquely me. I am the most honest person I know. Even though I can and do have moments where that challenges me greatly, but I will always come out and tell my truth.
Now truth is not an easy place to stand in, especially my own truth. My own truth can best be summed up in “The Invitation”, by Oriah Mountain Dreamer and one of the lines in it goes as follows;
“I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself”
This is where I feel I am right now. You see both these men want to date me again. In truth my need is not to date either of them, although I acknowledge that both these men have wonderful gifts and qualities. But neither man, I feel is for me. Both have requested recently that I date them again. I feel this as a huge pressure. Probably because I would love nothing more than to be in a relation. A relationship that would last the rest of my life, this is my hearts desire. This is the dream I have dreamt for a long long time and again it is sumed in “The Invitation” …….
“It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.”
“ I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.”
I want more than anything to meet my hearts longing. My heart aches with this pain silently, it is only visable to me. I met a man recently that I fancy. So!, you may say………………It is rare for me to fancy any man! (I sometimes wish I were not so!, However, this is my reality).
This is what I look for, an honest man, who is spiritual and loves God, someone I am attracted too. A great kisser and hugger. Has hair! I love hair. Oh and he needs to be doing his own inner journey. Well on the road towards who God made him to be.
I realised when I met this man that he is quite like me in some ways. I have no idea if that is a good thing or not. All I know is that I am attracted to him, actually within minutes of meeting him, I fell in love with him. However, I discovered when I asked him out that he is in a relationship. So, how I feel may be real to me, but it has no basis in reality. I know this and I keep grounding myself in reality. However, my heart keeps saying something quite different! Which I am finding incredibly frustrating.
This is my dilemma ……………………………………………………………………
Standing in my truth.
I know I can not date guy 1 or 2 again. I need to get over the man I fell in love with.
I want it all. I want to be in love and love and be loved unconditionally. I want to share God with who ever this man may be. I want depth in our intimacy. I want our love made visible to the world, gently.
My question? Am I asking for too much? Am I dreaming an impossible dream?
I still dream my dream………………………………………………………
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I have wanted to blog for a while now and here I am. Now what do I write about?!?
Let me take the title and break it up into sections, I'll start with love.....................
What a topic! I have been blessed in my life in that I love many people. I believe my ability to love is a gift God gave to me. I am grateful for his gift. It is a gift I freely accepted, not that I have ever given it much thought, I mean about freely accepting God's gift. But I must have just accepted it at some point in my early life.
Love is a gift and I know that I am loved by many too. A few years ago, I read a religious article that brought tears to my eyes. I think at the time, I was probably not feeling very loved and more importantly wasn't in a very self loving place! Our Lady was said to have said to the children in an apparition in Medugorja, "If you knew how much you are loved, you would weep with joy". Think about this and allow it to sink into your soul, I did and it blew me away. Today it still has the same affect on me. My heart and soul climb and jump within me in joy, because I know I am loved so much and if I truly realised this, I would weep with joy.
My deepest desire is to be loved unconditionally. Therefore my responsibility is to love me unconditionally. I am learning to do this. I don't find it an easy road, I am quite challenged by it, but it is a road I know I need to be on. I want to be on!
I love both my adult children unconditionally, I am grateful to them for that experience. Had I not had them, I may not have known what it is like to love an other human being unconditionally. I realised quite recently, that I love my parents unconditionally also. It is in loving them unconditionally that I know how I can love me unconditionally. I also know in the core of my being that God loves me unconditionally. I find this hugely comforting. And what's more, you too are loved unconditionally, God's love is not exclusive to me, he loves us all.
I often say that if we looked at and spoke to each other in the same way we do to our babies and young children, what a difference it would make in the world we live in. Because when we interact with a small child, our eyes light up and through our eyes, the child sees it's own uniqueness, we mirror it to them. Now imagine if we did that with each other, what a difference that would make in the souls and hearts of all of us. I believe if we all did this, all our negative behaviours would fade away, because I think we would see and feel our own wholeness. I think it is the loss of our wholeness as human being that lends us to behave badly.
I often wonder if what the Catholic Church terms "Original Sin" is in fact the loss of our individual uniqueness. It makes sense to me, because on some deep level within all of us, we keep trying to get back to that place of wholeness within ourselves. You know, we all can get back there. All I need to do is to accept that God loves me and you unconditionally and my responsibility is to love myself unconditionally and if I can do that, I will love all who cross my path as I journey through life, unconditionally.
I think the 10 commandments are good rules to live by in life, but I think one of them is often forgotten. "Love God and your neighbour AS yourself", isn't the clue here that we are all connected? Isn't it true that all human beings deepest desire is to be love unconditionally? And that we all need and want to be seen for our individual uniqueness and wholeness?
I offer this to you as an opportunity to reflect on how much you love yourself unconditionally. And take comfort from the fact that you are already love unconditionally.
Sin é for now.......